It's You

Sunday, September 30, 2007 by Kristen


What is this sun that conquers mountains
 Singing over what has been asleep?
 What is it that softens all my doubting?
 It's you
Morning brings a hunger for new eyes
 That have been covered by the hurt of yesterday
 Who could create in me the vision of a little child?
 It's you
You take an ordinary day
 And turn it into flowers like the month of May
 Yes you do
 You see all my pain
 You cry over it for hours till I'm new again
 Yes you do
When I have been a victim of familiarity
 When my heart has fallen into sleep
 Healing is the voice that awakens me
 And it is you
You take an ordinary day
 And turn it into flowers like the month of May
 Yes you do
 You see all my pain
 You cry over it for hours till I'm new again
 Yes you do
You, you make me new...

~Bethany Dillon, New

Each day is new--He renews our strength like the eagles', giving us new sight, new love, new hope, and new faith. New joy for each day, new contentment for every circumstance, and new strength to simply carry on. Live Christ!

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Questions

Sunday, September 02, 2007 by Kristen

"Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don't question is you
You really love me like you say you do
Hold me

I've questioned my significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
I've questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is your love remains"


I think that these lyrics by Paul Coleman pretty much describe where I am right now...I am so blessed in so many ways, and I know it--I could go on for days, weeks, months, even years listing all of the ways I am blessed. But I am also struggling. College is an entirely different world, and the decisions I make during this time could affect the rest of my life. Am I doing the right thing? Should I pursue this music major? Can I pursue a music major, with the four hours of required practice, while still doing a nearly hour long commute between home and college every day? Is that what God wants? What are His plans, His purposes? Is it His will that I pursue this, or should I reconsider? Does it even matter? How do I balance the importance of school with the importance of relationships? Dedicating four years to 4 hours of music practice a day is a monumental decision--how can I know what's right? Please pray for me! What about my other passions; film-making, video editing, photography, etc? Should I take the fact that I did receive the 4-year scholarship into account? Would He have given that to me if that's not was I was supposed to be doing? As a new friend at college told me recently:

Don't ask God to bless what you're doing; do what God is blessing.

Lord God, I'm not sure. I don't know. I'm weak. I know that I'm weak--I need your help.

I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself!
~Rush of Fools, Undo

Jesus, please help me to see what you see--your ways are so much higher, I can't even fathom them; but please open my eyes to your Truth daily. Draw me closer Lord, to thee. Please be my strength--I don't ask that you give me the strength, but only that you do what I in my flesh and human nature cannot.

I...am...weak.

I admit this and acknowledge it, Lord! I need you--for in my weakness, then you are strong. The weaker I am, the stronger you become in me. Fill me to overflowing, Lord, with your peace, joy, contentment, and zeal.

I am yours.

You promise never to leave me or forsake me--I am your child, daughter of the King. I serve you willingly, out of love, awe, and respect. You said that no one can snatch away those whom the Father has given you; I am safe in your arms forever and ever. Even when I can't see you, feel you, hear you, or sense you, I know you. I know you are there...you are in me, beside me, behind me, before me, and protecting me.

I am strong.

Not in my own strength--the Holy Spirit dwelling in me is that strength. Your presence in my life is that strength. Your Word is that strength. You are strength.

You are.

And that's all that matters. You are--you are everything I am not; but you can't be what I'm not for me until I admit what I'm not. You are.....You are. You are.


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